Life's A Dance, You Learn As You Go

I didn’t have too many expectations prior to coming to the coast of West Africa.  I had some ideas of what I hoped the experience would be like, but like everything else in life we are never the ones in control.  All I really knew was that I was going to be ridiculously far from home, far from comforting voices and far from familiar surroundings.  My friend Laura and I were taking the plunge together, so that definitely eased some of the anxiety.  I knew that I was going to be reminded of my college life – living with roommates, eating in a community dining room, and sharing small spaces.  I knew I was going to meet people from various countries and take care of patients who needed an extra hand.  I knew I was going to be volunteering on the ship for three months, not a day longer. 

Well my friends, looks like the joke is on me.  It turns out that just under three months on this vessel wasn’t enough.  I have graciously been given the opportunity to extend my time on Mercy Ships until April.  I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m writing this post floating in the still waters of the dock in Africa instead of in the comfort of my home.  A couple weeks ago it hit me smack in the face as I tried unsuccessfully to keep the salty puddles of water from flowing as Laura and Helena climbed into the land rover on the way to the airport without me.  Please don’t misunderstand me, I am elated to be able to stay longer, but that doesn’t lessen the twinge of holycowwhatamidoing that comes crashing in like the waves.  Some days I take those waves like a champ and stand my ground, other days it seems as though I get knocked around and lose my footing for a bit. 

In my defense, how can I not expect to get a little banged up when I realize that not only was I on board for my birthday but also my favorite holiday ever – THANKSGIVING…and then why not add Christmas to the list.  It’s so easy to wallow, and sometimes I’m pretty darn good at it.  Thankfully however, the amazing individuals that I’ve met these last few months, the ones I am beyond proud to call my friends, are right there for me…every time.  That’s definitely one of the things I had not expected to find when I began this life altering journey.

The overwhelming Birthday Love that was poured out for me

 

Africa Mercy Thanksgiving

 

I decided to volunteer on this ship because I wanted to use my nursing skills to help people in a land that I knew nothing about.  I wanted to share my love of nursing with those around me; I wanted to try to make a difference in the life of another.  I knew the experiences I’d have would be unforgettable and would have an impact on me, but I did not expect to have my own world rocked.  I didn’t know I was going to be a stripped version of myself, comfortably vulnerable in the presence of these amazingly supportive individuals.  I didn’t expect to be inspired by the ones I interact with every day. 

 

When people ask me what made me want to stay I surprised even myself when I blurted out, “Well, I just don’t feel like I’m quite finished here yet.”  As I said it, I didn’t even completely know what I meant.  I still don’t know what I expect to happen in the future months that will make me feel finished, or more ready, but I’m excited.  I’m excited to continue to deepen my faith and take more of an active role in my relationship with God.  I’m excited to open my heart to new faces, as they have to me.  I’m excited to continue to grow into the woman I was meant to be.

I had the sad realization when Laura left that it was just the beginning of the dreaded goodbyes.  And as I gear myself up for future departures, I have decided to stand firm in the belief that they are really just simple “See ya later’s.”  And besides, a difficult goodbye is only proof that an amazing friendship had developed.